The Way I See It

A4

By Paul Chapman

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I don't particularly like playing cards. It's not like I hold the old protestant view that cards are the devils picture book, and that witches and devil worshippers use them to cast spells and curses, it's I don't play very often.

On the other hand, to prevent cabin fever during the three weeks of rain that was our summer, I have relatives who shuffled more decks than a Las Vegas casino. They played an endless string of games of auction 45.

While always a core group seemed to be on hand, there was a constant rotation of new players. People would drop by to visit, and before they knew what was happening they were sitting down at a table passing on a 15 bid with nothing higher than a queen.

I showed up to visit near the end of this 17-day card-playing marathon, and found myself swimming in this pool of sharks when they were playing some sort championship as determined by the Grand Pooh-Bah.

I am not making this up. There really was a Grand Pooh-Bah, fully outfitted with a great fur trimmed hat adorned with large Pooh-Bah like horns. He had a clubhouse, which doubles as a garden shed with a beer fridge. At this point, I was not as worried about devil worship as I was about the aforementioned cabin fever.

My partner was a rock-solid auction player, and while knowing the rules is one thing, it's the unwritten rules that are the hardest to follow. I was cautious and only made one error on the evening. It was a doozy though. It was getting near the end of the game, and one team (not mine), was poised to win, and the rest were determined not to let that happen.

The room was noisy with chatter and false bravado. My hand was full of nothing, but I was to lead. I grabbed card a card and threw it in. It was like someone sucked the air out of the room as everything went silent.

All I heard was a whispered, "He led trump."

My response of, "Oh, is spades trump?" did nothing to restore any humour and I swear I thought I heard someone curse me.

The hand played out in silence, and the team won the game. I volunteered to sit out the next round. No one protested.

That was fine. I don't particularly like playing cards.

Paul Chapman is a local freelance writer.